Hi, Jim Terry here.

Why do I forget that being an artist is hard? I’ll get into these incredibly self-defeating modes where I just don’t understand why nothing seems to work, a frustrated and dark mood that won’t dissipate and I’ll wonder “how the hell did it come to this?”. I’ve been in that cloud lately, stressing about bread and how will rent be made and will my new book ever get out of the printers, will I be able to afford the cost when the times comes and… so on. I work part time in a bookstore and today I about incinerated the stockroom with impotent rage. What am I doing working in a dive like this? I have important work to do; don’t they understand that???

I neglect the fact that it’s a part time gig, it’s not my destiny. And as far as gigs go it ain’t bad - I dig most of the people I work with and there’s nothing like being surrounded by books all day. Okay, I can live without seeing a new James Patterson novel every 72 hours, but you get the drift. Our store is home to Dostoyevsky and Hemingway as well, after all. The knowledge of the centuries, stacked against the wall waiting to be opened and experienced.

I had a great dinner tonight with my friend Chris Kildorf. I think that’s how you spell his name. Anyway, he’s a carpenter by trade and an artist at heart. I mean, this fella’s underestimated constantly by his burly physical demeanor and he rarely betrays his keen understanding of “the arts” but it’s there. I read his graphic novel, xeroxed and stapled and left in pencil stage, and it knocked me out. He set me straight tonight, reminded me that drawing on my days off is not a duty, it’s a luxury not everyone can afford. My wife is supportive, and though we live beyond our means she’s never doubted me despite all my underhanded, strange efforts to get her to do so. We get by and we go without and though it’s not always comfortable there’s comfort in it.

I truly think a decision needs to be made, a commitment. I’m lucky to have a good support team. Hope to see you this weekend at the Free Comic Book Day. I don’t think I’ll have Lie Down Low #4 by then, but I should be wearing my Tom Waits hat.

May 3, 2008 - “The Comic Vault”, Montrose & Ashland, 1-4pm.

See you there.